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I would like to Believe - Catharsis [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Akasha Damiana

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I would like to Believe [Jul. 5th, 2014|05:04 pm]
Akasha Damiana
I would like to believe that I have some value besides what is between my legs, that even if I cannot fuck you or service your cock for you in some other fashion, that I still have something to add to your life with my presence.  I would like to believe that I have value as a friend and a person who cares, even if due to circumstances we cannot boink.  I have felt so very fucking used, over and over, just used.  I cannot bear this bullshit, I am crumbling, and I will tell no one but this page that no one reads anymore anyways that I can no longer deal with this world where all I am worth is what I can give to others but to never expect to get the same.  I have had to fight for equality in relationships, and have mostly lost the fight.  I have been assured that I am not worth what I am expected to give.  I am struggling to heal, and I feel so discouraged because I have tried every stupid healing fad and every allopathic medicine fad and nothing is making it better. I reach out to other people trying to heal, and I face rejection and worse.  I want to heal my sexual person, and I find rape.  I need people that care about me, really truly know and love me to be here.  Most of the people closest to me are miles away, and my arms feel just so fucking empty.     I feel like I am covered in scars, inside and out,  and so very ugly from everything that has been.  I am stained and weary, and so tired in my soul that all I think lately is "I give up, I give up, I give up, I give up."   Every little bit of joy that can come out of life is being milked for all it is worth over here, and it is just not enough because the pain overcomes everything else.  I just give up.
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[User Picture]From: writerspleasure
2015-06-10 02:16 pm (UTC)
<3
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